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Mary Buckham - Alpha Male Body Language for Writers

Alpha Male Body Language for Writers
by Mary Buckham

Reading male body language can either be a lifetime of trial and error – or involves a specific study of what sets them apart from women. Knowing and understanding male body language is very important for women writers to make sure their portrayal of male characters are accurate and grounded in ‘scientific’ facts, as opposed to simply being based on personal experience of viewpoint. So let’s have some fun in looking at what makes a male Alpha in his behavior and body language.

Male animals living in packs, such as wolves and wild dogs, compete to be the leader of the pack. This brings the strongest and smartest male to the leadership position and every pack has a leader who dominates and leads the other members of the pack. Thus the human Alpha Male refers to a type of man who is strong, smart and a leader. Others respect his decisions, and tend to not challenge him. An Alpha Male moves and stands in ways that show he expects to get what he wants without being questioned or challenged. After all who’s going to attack the biggest and most powerful?

Men can display some of their Alpha tendencies by consciously using their body posture. Standing or sitting erect with chest out, head up, arms relaxed and not flailing about are signs of dominance, and thus Alpha Maleness. Moving only when necessary, and moving slowly and deliberately indicate great self confidence, pride and determination. So an alpha male can be both the protagonist and villain on the page.

Alpha Males tend to display the following behavior patterns.

1. Aggression. This does not mean to be argumentative, belligerent and ready to fight but involves being dynamic and doing what needs to be done. They don’t wait to be shown what to do—they’ll ask forgiveness, not permission.

2. Assertiveness. Alpha males tend to communicate in a clear, straight forward fashion, respectful of others as long as others are following the Alpha’s direction. Alphas are used to leading and taking responsibility for others so they assume others will acknowledge this by following blindly and without complaint.

3. Courage. Alphas are ready and willing to confidently tackle problems and see them resolved. They take responsibility not only for themselves but for those under their protection—their family, their group, their community. There’s a reason why organizations such as the military or law enforcement abound with Alpha males. There is a structure, hierarchy and willingness to accept responsibility for doing the hard jobs, as well as an awareness of what protection of others entails that attracts Alphas to these fields.

4. Persistence. Alphas can and will keep focused on their goals and apply all resources until goals are achieved. These are not easy men to divert or stop once they’ve determined what they see as the right course of action to take.

Research has found that males, especially young ones in their teenager years, compete in many subtle ways for a perceived Alpha Male position on sport teams, gangs, or in neighborhoods. One way they demonstrate their Alpha Maleness is by taking risks and doing dangerous things. Risk-takers are advertising their fitness to potential mates by showing off their strength and bravery.

Not every man is a natural Alpha Male, and those who are not cannot fake it. A Beta male can be an Alpha male in the making, or can accept a lower position in the pack and thrive there.

More body language cues the dominant person uses can include:

• Directs and controls the conversation. A true dominant steers the conversation without resistance from others in the group. An Alpha Male-wannabe will hog the conversation.

• Freely asks questions and expects a response back but gives little or no self-disclosure. The Alpha male-wannabe will assume the conversation is all about them and steer it in that direction.

• Stands with hands on hips, elbows out to sides. Takes up more personal space that way and wants to look bigger. If sitting tends to also take up more space.

• Stands or sits taller than others subconsciously.

• Freely interrupts others speaking, not to shut down others but because he and others are willing to listen to him. Others don't interrupt him. Alpha Male-wannabes will override others to prove their points and shut others down.

• Long pause when answering a door knock, or replying to someone. Makes others wait. Not as rudeness but as the highest in a hierarchy.

• Freely touches others whereas others don't touch back. Example – a boss would pat an employee on the shoulder or back but the employee does not feel comfortable initiating or returning the gesture. Alpha Male-wannabe will use the touch in inappropriate ways.

• Will stare at others and as a result demand their attention. Others don't do the same back. Think of law enforcement officials in any kind of public interaction.

• Never breaks eye contact first. Others usually break eye contact first by looking down, signifying submission.

• Occupies a bigger personal space and crowds others on purpose but only because they are used to protecting their space and wanting, subconsciously, the strongest offensive or defensive position.

• Takes the lead purposefully when walking and going through doors.

• While sitting, will put hands behind head, put feet on desk, remove eye glasses and put ear-piece in mouth, or turn chair away from others and stare out window. [though many of these gestures are more common to men than women]

To learn more from Mary about the wonderful dynamics between male and female characters check out her upcoming live workshop in Lexington, Kentucky:
2nd Annual Kentucky Romance Writers Spring into Writing Workshop on Saturday, March 20, 2010 - 9:00 A.M. - 5:00 PM

Sex Between the Pages: Understanding and Writing Sexual Tension with Mary Buckham
COST: $25/MEMBERS; $30/NON-MEMBERS
HOST HOTEL: Hyatt Place, 2001 Bryant Road, Lexington, KY 40509 (For reservations call: 859-296-0091)

For more information visit:
http://www.kentuckyromancewriters.com/Workshop.htm

Mary’s Bio:
Award-winning author Mary Buckham has worked with thousands of writers both on-line and in live workshops throughout the U.S. and Canada. She loves meeting writers at all levels of their development. She’s also the co-author of the ground-breaking plotting book BREAK INTO FICTION®: POWER PLOT YOUR NOVEL (Adam’s Media/June 2009).

To learn more about Mary visit her website www.MaryBuckham.com or www.BreakIntoFiction.com

Special Guest: Anida Adler

Dr Jeckyll, Ms Hyde
The constant battle between the swooning maiden and the snarling dominatrix.

He was an absolute arsehole. The man was domineering, forceful, intimidating and, sometimes, rude. If I’d met him in real life, my alter ego would have sprung to life and… it doesn’t bear thinking of.

I first met that other me when I was about sixteen. My friend Adele and I were visiting her friend, Chrizelda. They had a swimming pool in their back garden - not an uncommon thing in South Africa. What they had which not many others did, however, was an enclosed lapa. A lapa is a thatched roof supported on wooden poles, which is usually open-sided. This one was more like a little house, and inside it was kitted out perfectly for teenagers. A dartboard was mounted on one wall. A fridge behind the bar was stocked with soft drinks. There were cane chairs to sit on. Most importantly, though, it had a pool table.

This lazy, hot afternoon, there was a group of boys visiting as well. In the company of beautiful, slim Adele and voluptuous, blonde Chrizelda, I felt my nerdy oddness even more acutely than usual. However, as the afternoon progressed, I turned from intimidated to annoyed. These boys were not the sharpest tools in the shed. And one of them took a particular dislike to me.

The little snot was good-looking, and he knew it. When he turned his sneering attention to me, something inside me woke up and snarled back. I had a retort ready for every cutting remark, a withering look for every superior glance. Then it came to a challenge of a pool game, and I took him up on it.

How in hell I managed it, I will never know. I’ve never been a great pool player, and the boy was generally considered more than competent at the game. Every other hormone-loaded teen there fell quiet as the competition progressed. I matched him shot for shot, and in the end, he only managed to beat me by a whisker.

The whole group looked at me with new respect. It was time for me to head home, and I did so with my head held high. That same head lowered gradually as the hours passed. What on earth had just happened? How had I managed that? But I did, and though it was very rare, this alter ego appeared again over the years, leaving a few arrogant bastards licking serious wounds in her wake.

Now the type of guy I so despise in real life confronted me again, this time from the pages of a book. And all I could think of was how much I was rooting for him to manage a shag with the heroine. What on earth is going on?

I’m not alone in this, you know. I’ll bet a hundred dollars… okay, wait. I’m broke this month. I’ll bet ten dollars that the vast majority of us would really hate many of the overbearing heroes depicted in romance novels, were they to knock on our doors. I outgrew my nerdyness, and had ample opportunity to prove to myself that a great looker only amuses you so far if he is not compatible with your personality. The man most pleasing to the eye in the whole world will lose his charms if a right bastard resides in that perfect body.

The man for most girls is the one who is great company, has a good sense of humour, is kind, considerate, compassionate and a good father. Thinking of my own life partner, it’s precisely because he gives me freedom and doesn’t dominate me, that I love him.

Why, then, do the guidelines of so many romance and erotica publications tactfully (and sometimes bluntly) advise authors that heroes need to be type A personalities? You know, the anal kind that are a walking target for heart attacks because they’re so… so… growly?

We want our independence, we want our freedom. We want to be respected as equals. And when we get anywhere near a bed with a naked man, we want to be DOMINATED! Tie me up, spank me, or at least take charge, for God’s sake. The whimpering heroine of the tacky novels of old is long gone. Yet in a way, she’s never left. The heroine must be strong, but the hero must be stronger! He doesn’t have to rescue her, she can rescue him… but then he must bed her and shag her senseless to say thank you. We want to read about the feisty lady, and we want to see her conquered by the hero’s inner bastard. What is wrong with us?

I don’t know the answer to this question. We’re all helpless in the face of our dual nature. But in a way, I think it’s fantastic that we have romance and erotica to live out this unfortunate aspect of ourselves. In a story it’s harmless, it’s exciting and fun. We can get rid of the urge to whimper, and get back to real life with a snarl.

The Ancient

By: Anida Adler

Blurb:

What would you do if you fell in love with the goddess of death?

June 1945 - Tadhg Daniels sees a woman clad in strange clothes and a feathered cloak, but she’s invisible to everyone else. He’s convinced his mind has been unhinged by the horrors of the D-day landings four days before, but when she appears to him again, the woman proves she is real. She is Morrigan, goddess of death, come to warn him his life is about to end.

Morrigan is disturbed by the man she meets. He looks in her eyes unflinching, while all others avoid her gaze. She’s never found such a strong will to survive in any of her charges before. He refuses to accept he’s going to die.

There is a way for Tadhg to cheat death, a secret Morrigan has guarded for millennia. Morrigan can save him if she takes him as her lover, but sex with the goddess of death will change him. He needs time to decide if he’s prepared to give up his humanity in order to be with her forever.

But Tadhg is not the only one who knows Morrigan’s secret. Someone else wants to take by force the gift she can bestow. And he’ll stop at nothing to get it.

Excerpt 1:

Rat-tat-tat, rat-tat-tat, and two more German soldiers lay dead on the ground that had soaked up the blood of so many good men. The smell of cordite stung his nose and roiled nausea in his stomach. He glanced down at their faces, a seasoned soldier, judging from the lines etched around his mouth, beside him a boy not much older than Stephen.

Not now, not now. There had to be time enough to let the agony of taking life from others flow through his heart. He shoved past Morrigán. Someone fell beside him, and he pulled the trigger, shot and killed, wounded, maimed, and moved on. Bullets zinged an inch past him, and he tumbled into a shell hole beside Mark, breath racing in his chest.

And she was there, beside him, silent, waiting.

“I will not die,” Tadhg growled, but rising fear clutched cold fingers at his throat.
“You’re right there, my friend.” Mark clapped his shoulder. “We’re going to get through this shit together and go horseback riding when this fuckup is over.” He turned his attention back to the fighting, back to the air cloyed with hatred, anger, despair, and fear, and killed more Germans so they would not kill him. “Come on!” Mark shouted to Tadhg and launched himself over the lip of the hole.

Tadhg glanced at Morrigán and hesitated. Her gaze rested on him, and he saw eternity in her eyes. “No, Morrigán. No.” And with that he followed Mark, lifted his body from safety -- and felt the bullets slam into his chest as if time had slowed to a trickle. He fell and slid back into the shell hole, stared up at the blue sky in stunned disbelief.

Sound receded until he lay in utter silence among screams of pain and anger, in the midst of pounding boots and rattling guns. He felt no pain, but it was difficult to breathe, and something wet bubbled on his lips.

Morrigán crouched beside him. Why did she look angry? “You want to live, poet? You want to live no matter what?”

Again he felt that odd sensation of a part of him accepting, looking forward to entering the land of shades. He could blend with the power of running horses, exist in the steaming joy of early morning gallops across dewy fields. Yet inside him, another part rebelled, struggled for life, even as he sensed the last few grains of sand sink to the narrow waist of the hourglass of his measure of days. And as he lay dying, he rested his gaze on Morrigán’s beautiful, pearl-white face, and the part that wanted to live grew, filled him, became all of him.

“Tadhg, answer me. Do you want to live, no matter what the price?”

He couldn’t speak. Dear God, she offered him a chance, and now, because his lungs were filling with blood, he could not force his voice to reach out for what he craved with his entire being. Blackness tinged the edges of his vision; he fought to hold the receding image of her face. He nodded his answer, and she reacted in an instant, flicked her cloak over his body, and Tadhg felt himself falling, falling into a landscape of terrible dreams.

Special Guest: Sandy Lender

Abra Abracadabra
By Fantasy Author Sandy Lender
http://www.authorsandylender.com/books.htm

How did I write a fantasy series with magic without using magic in the novel? As luck would have it, the fantasy genre lets me create all kinds of new elements. As a friend used to say to me, “If you need a tree somewhere, in fantasy, you can just put the tree there.” So I made up a “power” for the good guys in my series to wield.

Being a Southern Baptist, I believe that using magic and sorcery is a negative thing. Among other passages, the Bible has a section that warns not to practice divination or sorcery or engage in witchcraft, etc., so I wanted to be really careful not to suggest that the “good guys” in my series were using divination, sorcery, or witchcraft. Well, gee whiz, how to give the good guys an edge? Fantasy is full of magic—that’s one of the things that makes it fantastical, right? In a moment of compromise, I made up my own form of “power” for the good guys. I call it the geasa and it’s a god-breathed power that some people receive after conception.

Now, you can argue that I’m walking a fine line there, but, hey, it’s my fantasy world—I’ll walk a fine line if I want to. (Read that to the tune of “It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to.”) Mwuahahahahaha.

To be serious, Choices Meant for Gods and Choices Meant for Kings are enjoyable for a variety of audiences, including high schoolers, so I wanted to be sure I wasn’t flinging confusing ideas into impressionable minds. I kept the “colorful language” to a minimum; I think you can count the naughty words in each novel on one hand. I kept the physical innuendoes to innuendo and made most of them rather humorous at that. I kept the romance to a sweet romance that doesn’t have characters compromising one another’s integrity. The PG-13 rating (which I noticed my publisher has changed to a PG rating recently) is for violence, which I struggled to keep from going into the “R” category.

What readers may find bizarre is that this nice little So Bapt Chickadee made up a polytheistic society with a not-quite-worthy deity for the coo-el heroine to protect. But, hey, it’s fantasy. Ya gotta make up something fantastical.

“Some days, you just want the dragon to win.”

Choices Meant for Kings

Blurb:
Chariss is in danger. Her geasa is hampered by the effects of a friend’s marriage. The dashing Nigel Taiman hides something from her, yet demands she stay at his family’s estate where he and her wizard guardian intend to keep her safe. But the sorcerer Lord Drake and Julette The Betrayer know she’s there, and their monstrous army marches that way.

When prophecies stack up to threaten an arrogant deity, Chariss must choose between the dragon that courts her and the ostracized kings of the Southlands for help. Evil stalks her at every turn and madness creeps over the goddess who guides her. Can an orphan-turned-Protector resist the dark side of her heritage? Or will she sacrifice all to keep her god-charge safe?

Excerpt:

As the soldier stepped toward him, Nigel reached out his arm and caught him by the neck. He slammed the captain against the far wall. He pinned him there with his body, leaning against the man as if he could crush the wind from him with his presence.

He brought his face close to the soldier’s ear and spoke lowly, fiercely, so that no one could have overheard him. The menace and intent behind the words was as surprising to the captain as the words themselves.

“I asked you to accompany [Chariss] on this journey tomorrow because I have faith in your sword, and until this moment I trusted you to keep your distance from her. Now, I find her down here at your side with a look upon your face that suggests more than you realize. So help me, Naegling, the only thing that stays my hand is how displeased she would be if she learned that I sliced you open.”

“The look you see is merely my concern for her honor. Nothing more.”

“I’m not a fool. And I’ll use every last piece of Arcana’s treasury to pay the prophets to justify my reasons for marrying that woman, so you can unconcern yourself with her honor.”

Hrazon stepped off the staircase then and saw Nigel pressed against his guard.

“I still believe you’re one of the best soldiers Arcana’s ever seen,” Nigel continued, “and I want you at her side for this journey, but, so help me, Naegling, she comes back alive and well and not confused in the least about her affections for me, or I will string you up from a tree in the orchard and attach your intestines to your horse’s saddle before I send it—”

Hrazon cleared his throat. “Excuse me. Is there an issue here I should address?”

Special Guest: C.L. Talmadge

Alpha Heroines

Alpha heroines, where are you? The top protagonists to admire and emulate in books, films, graphic novels, television, and video games are overwhelmingly male.

Alpha heroes abound throughout fiction in all media. These talented and dedicated characters are too numerous to list comprehensively, although any mention has to include contemporary mega favorites Batman, Harry Potter, Spiderman, and Superman. From the past there’s Dick Tracy and Flash Gordon, the Green Hornet and The Shadow. All of them terrific, and all of them are male.

Can’t a woman be an alpha hero, too?

To be sure, a handful of females hang out in the alpha heroism pantheon. They include Lara Croft, X-(Wo)Man Jean, Nancy Drew, Wonder Woman, and Xena the Warrior Princess. By and large, however, the ranks of alpha heroines are thin, and the reasons for this dearth have changed as women’s social role has evolved.

In the past, the creators and consumers of heroic fiction simply could not imagine women as courageous, strong-willed, and pro-active. Females were strictly to be rescued from peril, not do the rescuing themselves. Women provided eye candy and screams of terror-distress at appropriate moments to heighten the tension and help make the alpha hero’s exploits all the more remarkable. Females also could be the source of the alpha hero’s one weakness or play the ever present role of evil temptress (the ongoing rerun of woman as Eve).

Women have a lot more options and a bit more power in some societies today. So now alpha heroic fiction offers its primarily male audience an escape back to presumably happier times (at least for men). In these good old days, men were manly, a few were top heroes, and women knew and remained in their (subordinate) places. Much of today’s alpha heroes and their worlds are a tedious exercise in gender power nostalgia.

How tiresome and boring. The more things change, the more they stay the same. Bring us some alpha heroines!

It just so happens that alpha heroines inhabit the pages of the Green Stone of Healing® speculative epic. First-generation heroine Helen Andros, a “formidable protagonist,” according to Kirkus Discoveries, is an alpha heroine to the max. She is so tall, brainy, opinionated, and accomplished that she scares many men. She’s also dedicated to her calling as a physician and willing to take risks despite her fears to help patients who need her.

Helen is an alpha heroine in a society that is male dominated. Women are strictly second class in Azgard, the lost island nation where she lives. Helen is especially vulnerable in her world because she is a presumed orphaned, illegitimate half breed. Her long lost mother was a Turanian, the subjugated race in Azgard; her unknown father a member of the dominant Toltecs. In every sense, Helen sticks out like the proverbial sore thumb, and struggles to find a place in a society hostile to her very existence for numerous reasons.

The public unmasking of the identity of Helen’s father sets the tale in motion, and Helen’s dangers only continue to grow even though every now knows her father’s identity as one of the most powerful and highest ranked Toltec lords. The state-sanctioned, powerful Temple of Kronos wants Helen dead because its leader fears the mythical gifts and abilities of half-breeds as a challenge to his institution’s authority and prestige.

But Helen grows, too, picking up skills to defend herself and heal others by wielding a spiritual energy known as kura. She and her descendents, who will be alpha heroines as well, hold out a loving, inclusive alternative to theocrats who persecute anyone who does not look or believe as they do.

The priests’ drive for dominance ultimately destroys Azgard. But a descendent of Helen meets the challenge of preventing the total destruction of her people, leading them to a new beginning in what remains of a world shattered by the unloving lust for total control.

C.L. Talmadge is the author of the Green Stone of Healing® speculative epic. The fourth in the series, Outcast, will be published Oct. 1. Vote for the first book, The Vision, by midnight Sept. 25 and get a free e-book on healing, love, and spirituality. Details at her blog: www.healingstonebooks.com/stonescribe

The series features four generations of strong-willed female characters who inherit a mysterious green gem ultimately revealed to mend broken bones and broken hearts, protect against missiles, and render its wearers undetectable.

For more information about each book, please visit http://www.greenstoneofhealing.com/